politics

Anarchism is folly. The true instrument of change is our children.

On macroeconomics and government:

Politicians will sell that an election is an us-against-them proposition. The truth is that "us" are the average taxpayers, and "them" are the very same politicians.

A Day in the Sun

A Day in the Sun

I’ve learned to pack lightly when we go to the beach. I made the mistake of bringing everything possible once, and I’ll never repeat it. This recounts a warm Saturday during the summer of 2000. I had been married to my wife, Wendy, for less than a year, and we planned an outing to Gulf Breeze over the weekend with my step-daughter, Jessi, and her six-month-old daughter, Leslie.

During the week leading up to the beach weekend, my wife and step-daughter shopped for everything possible that would be needed at the beach. We obtained the wind cover for the playpen, three sets of snorkels and fins, nets for catching fish, beach towels, beach blankets, a new cooler, and the list goes on. I packed most of what I could into our 1996 Geo Prism the night before and managed to fit an additional load, including two full coolers, two suitcases, and three bags of snacks, in the early morning of that Saturday. With three adults and a child in a baby carrier, the car was full.

For breakfast, we decided to use the McDonald’s drive-through so we could arrive at the beach early. Armed with warm food, we began our three hour adventure through rural Alabama to the Florida panhandle just after seven o’clock in the morning. We chatted as we ate, but after the wrappers were empty and Leslie had her bottle, all of the girls fell asleep. It was a very quiet drive down to the Florida state line, where we would lose an hour entering the Eastern Time Zone.

Leslie decided to wake up and announce her wakefulness by crying once we entered Pensacola. Another bottle and a quick diaper change took care of Leslie’s fussiness. The conversation in the car increased and I could sense the excitement of Wendy and Jessi. There were “oohs” and “aahs” as we crossed the causeways over the sound and Intercoastal Waterway. The girls were pointing out all types of water fowl, but I had to concentrate on driving. At last, we entered the National Seashore and found our favorite beach. The sun was out, the breeze was warm and the time was just before eleven o’clock.

This particular beach was in a cove, so the shallow water extended out a bit further than most beaches. It also had a covered area with restrooms, showers and picnic tables. I thought the location would be perfect for a weekend at the beach. Wendy and Jessi were wearing their swimming suits beneath their clothes, so we walked up to the restrooms and I played with my granddaughter while the ladies changed.

They came out of the restroom and headed straight down to the beach! I went back to the car and retrieved an umbrella, toting Leslie in her carrier. I then took both down to the beach. Wendy and Jessi were in the water and I asked where they had dropped their sandals. Wendy heard me and motioned to my right. So, I set up the umbrella to protect Leslie near that location. I knew we had a lot of items, so I tried to choose an area that was a little larger and unoccupied. After waving my arms for a few minutes, I got my wife’s attention and she came up from the water. I asked if she could watch Leslie while I unloaded the car and she agreed.

I then began the fifty minute, eight-trip saga of pulling almost everything from the car’s trunk, back seat, and other nooks and crannies up over the sand dune to the beach. Each trip, I would set up the location with what I brought, like the playpen and its windbreak or the coolers and snacks. Before venturing for the next load, I would entertain requests of “I need her diaper bag” and “bring the boogie board next time” from Wendy and Jessi.

I had the last load in hand and as I climbed up the dune, I noticed my wife sitting at a picnic table under the covered area with Leslie. As I approached, I could hear Leslie crying for all that she was worth and Wendy appeared to be changing her diaper. It was then that I learned that the ladies had taken Leslie into the salt water. Evidently, Leslie had a small case of diaper rash that was aggravated by the sting of the salt water. Jessi then appeared in the covered area and said it was too hot for Leslie down on the beach and the two girls told me they wanted to be under cover. It was now nearly noon.

I then placed my “last load” on the picnic table and began the ritual of moving all the equipment from the beach to the picnic tables under the covering. I had a chance to admire my work in placing everything around our sandy area for a couple of minutes, and then I continued with the seven trips up to the girls’ location. It took me less time, about forty minutes, to breakdown our perfectly architected sandy location and relocate everything under the covering. I admit that I was less meticulous with placement, opting instead to pile the items on adjacent picnic tables. Once again, I had a “last load” and I had just arrived under the covering. I was hot, sweaty, thirsty, and the time was roughly a quarter-to-one in the afternoon.

My loving daughter looked at me and said, “Dad, please don’t get mad.” I assured her that I was far too tired to be angry. Jessi then added, “We’re pretty hungry.” I then realized that I was also hungry. I was still holding my second “last load” and, without a word, I just turned and took it down to the car. After the ensuing seven trips and about twenty minutes, the car was reloaded and we were driving out of the National Seashore, looking for lunch. The car was quiet, like it had been on the drive that morning.

 Our family had spent nearly three hours at the beach and I had yet to don my swimsuit. Further, the decision at lunch was to forgo the beach, check into the hotel, and use the hotel pool, which would be kinder to Leslie’s bottom. I agreed to this plan, though I told both Wendy and Jessi that we would never pack like this again for any trip to the beach, and we never have. All I need to do is begin recounting this story and suddenly the list of what we need for a weekend at the beach dwindles to one suitcase and one armful of items.

-- Steve Scheider, Oct. 2006

Misc Quotes

The only limitations you have are the ones you place on yourself. - Anonymous

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damn lies, and statistics. - Anonymous

To-do does not mean to-day. - Steve Scheider

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. - Peter Drucker

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy. - James Madison

Boys peak at 8. - Steve Scheider

Good things happen slow; bad things happen fast. - Steve Scheider

If you aren't implementing change, you're impeding it. - Steve Scheider

Fixed fortifications are monuments to man's stupidity. - George Patton

Patience, persistence, and perseverance. - Steve Scheider

Some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't you think? ― L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

What's behind you doesn't matter - Enso Ferrari

Most “new things” are marketing re-sells of old bits. Oddly, I keep revisiting my past as I continually learn new things. - Steve Scheider

What to give to a man that has everything? Your time. - Steve Scheider

Measure, Manage, Automate. - Steve Scheider

There's never a bad time to be a good dad. - Chris Shelby

If you don't plan for the future, you won't have one. - Steve Scheider

If there is only one Devil, then why are there so many religions? - Steve Scheider

"carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero" translated -> Seize the day, trust as little as possible in the next - Quintus Horatius Flaccus (aka Horace)

What a depressingly stupid machine. - Marvin, the Paranoid Android, via Douglas Adams, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Everyone has five maladies and one really great story. - Steve Scheider, on Growing Old

Be present. Be punctual. Be prepared. - Steve Scheider, to Students

That's do-able. - Steve Scheider, to my wife wrt living in a mobile home

I'd rather be lucky than good. - Lefty Gomez

Sometimes you feel like a nut; sometimes you are one. - Steve Scheider

It takes a village to maintain an app. - Steve Scheider

We have no more wisdom to offer than you have time to hear it. - Steve Scheider

Instead of space expanding, could time be getting longer? - Steve Scheider

Son, in 35 years of religious study, I have only come up with two hard, incontrovertible facts: there is a God, and...I am not Him. - Robert Prosky as Father Cavanaugh in "Rudy"

"No fim, tudo dá certo. Se não deu, ainda não chegou ao fim.” -> translated: “In the end, everything will be ok. If it's not ok, it's not yet the end." - Fernando Sabino

Not all those who wander are lost - J. R. R. Tokien, from poem "All that is gold does not glitter", The Fellowship of the Ring, The Lord of the Rings (Trilogy)

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. - Pablo Piccasso

All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. - Pablo Piccasso

The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. - David Viscott

... to look, to see, to remember, to enjoy. - Joseph P. Fitzpatrick

"μούνη δ᾽ αὐτόθι Ἐλπὶς ἐν ἀρρήκτοισι δόμοισιν / ἔνδον ἔμιμνε πίθου ὑπὸ χείλεσιν, οὐδὲ θύραζε / ἐξέπτη" -> translated: Only Hope remained there in an unbreakable home within under the rim of the great jar, and did not fly out at the door - Hesiod, from the poem "Works and Days", translated by Hugh G. Evelyn-White

You never hear the bullet that kills you. - Anonymous

And you know that you're over the hill when your mind makes a promise that your body can't fill. - Paul Barrère, "Old Folks Boogie," on Little Feat album Time Loves a Hero

Wit and humor do not reside in slow minds. ― Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra, Don Quixote

The heat makes the stupid leak out - Steve Scheider, on drivers during the summer

These go to eleven - Christopher Guest as Nigel Tufnel, This is Spinal Tap

"Nan demo dekimasu" -> translated: "We can do anything" - motto of U.S. Naval Ship Repair Facility, Yokosuka, Japan

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and the reality of tomorrow. – Robert H. Goddard

Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself. - Groucho Marx

" " - Harpo Marx

Now, it is clear that anyone working with rocket fuels is outstandingly mad. I don't mean garden-variety crazy or merely raving lunatic. I mean a record-shattering exponent of far-out insanity. There are, after all, some chemicals that explode shatteringly, some that flame ravenously, some that corrode hellishly, some that poison sneakily, and some that stink stenchily. As far as I know, though, only liquid rocket fuels have all these delightful properties combined into one delectable whole. - Issac Asnimov

We have been doing very much talking but not very much doing. - A DBA on creating an ERD

The war to end war. - H. G. Wells

All I want is fluff - Dorothy Scheider, my sister-in-law who raised me

Bye-bye 'no-man! - a young girl after visiting Santa's factory in Calera, AL onboard the North Pole Express

Diversity and censorship are antonyms. - Steve Scheider

Hot burnie! - my granddaughter, Leslie, at three years old, describing the oven

Fire! - another Leslie quote, this time at two years old, experiencing her first Japanese hibachi dinner

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups - George Carlin

Metaphorically, we are all stalked by death. When we give him the time of day, we lose out on living life. - Steve Scheider

It can't be that tough - other people can do it. - Steve Scheider

Aptitude, not attitude. - Steve Scheider

Let's see how that goes. - Steve Scheider

Your "differences" are your group's similarities. - Steve Scheider

Practice is a word I don't use. I use play. If you play, you get better. - Tommy Tedesco

If you hit a wrong note, then make it right by what you play afterward. - Joe Pass

It was late and I was tired. - Gary Larson

It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it. - Upton Sinclair

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code. - Anonymous

Hope is not a strategy. - Vince Lombardi

The measure of what we are is what we do with what we have. - Vince Lombardi

Why don't you knock it off with them negative waves? - Donald Sutherland as "Oddball" in Kelly's Heroes

Those who are ignorant naturally consider everything possible. - Franz Kafka, The Castle

There was once a day and a time; but that's not today. - Steve Scheider

History is written by the victors. - Winston Churchill (et. al.)

Rap is the wasabi of music. - Steve Scheider

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson, "Calvin and Hobbs", 6 Nov. 1989.

The closer we are to danger, the farther we are from harm. - J. R. R. Tolkien, as spoken by Pippin the Hobbit, The Two Towers, Lord of the Rings (Trilogy)

God is easy to please, but hard to satisfy. - George MacDonald

There are two kinds of people: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, "All right, then, have it your way." - C. S. Lewis

Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. - Anonymous

一期一会 -> romanized: ichigo, ichie -> translated: one time, one meeting. - Ii Naosuka

The time is always right to do what is right. - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

There are three Cs in life: choice, chance, change. You must make a choice to take a chance, or your life will never change. - Zig Ziglar

Choose, commit, do - Wendy Scheider

We have a lot of meetings, but very few conversations. - Steve Scheider

If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else. - Booker T. Washington

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. - A. A. Milne, as spoken by Winnie the Pooh

You are your best thing. - Toni Morrison

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. - Robin Williams

Just another nut in the tree. - Steve Scheider

Yet another dude on the internet. - Steve Scheider

Yet another old white guy (YAOWG). - Steve Scheider

The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree. - Anonymous

Like dancing with my dad when I was little ... just hang on and whirl - Rene Patteen

Ancora imparo. translated: Yet, I am learning. - Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni

No good deed goes unpunished. - Anonymous

Never anger a volunteer. - Steve Scheider

If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right. - Mae West

Ipse se nihil scire id unum sciat. translated -> He himself thinks he knows one thing, that he knows nothing. - Cicero, Academica Book I

I know nothing! - John Banner, as Sgt. Schultz, in "Hogan's Heroes"

εἰδέναι μὲν μηδὲν πλὴν αὐτὸ τοῦτο εἰδέναι. Translated -> That he knew nothing except that he knew that very fact. - Diogenes Laërtius, quoting Socrates

Hindsight is 20/20. - Anonymous

Can't argue with success. - Anonymous

The two most powerful warriors are patience and time. - Leo Tolstoy

We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents. - Bob Ross

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize that I should have been more specific - Lily Tomlin

Vote for the man that promises least; he will be the least disappointing. - Bernard M. Baruch

Though nothing will drive them away / We can beat them / Just for one day - David Bowie and Brian Eno, "Heroes", Heroes, 1977

Let me tell you about life with an engineer... - Cindi Pape

You can never go back. You have changed; it has changed. - Steve Scheider

Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it. - George Santayana

I always entertain great hopes. - Robert Frost

How many deaths and how much suffering are you willing to accept to get back to what you want to be some form of normality sooner rather than later? - Dr. Anthony Fauci

It is a characteristic of wisdom not to do desperate things. - Henry David Thoreau

Exposing a weapon makes you a target. - Steve Scheider

If only something tasted as good as coffee smells. - Mary Scheider, my mother

Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. - Dolly, as written by Bil Kearne, Family Circus, 1994

Fix your little problem and light this candle. - Alan Shepard

America is not a battleground. Our fellow citizens are not the enemy. - Martin Dempsey

It's better to be timely than right because our boss can't judge the quality of our work, but he knows when it is late. - Scott Adams, as voiced by Dilbert.

Without data, you're just another person with an opinion. - W. Edwards Deming

Angry people want you to see how powerful they are. Loving people want you to see how powerful you are. - Chief Red Eagle (William Weatherford)

But to give a right view of this mistaken part of liberty; let me ask, "would any one be a changeling, because he is less determined by wise considerations than a wise man? Is it worth the name of freedom, to be at liberty to play the fool, and draw shame and misery upon a man's self?" If to break loose from the conduct of reason, and to want that restraint of examination and judgement, which keeps us from choosing or doing the worse, be liberty, true liberty, madmen and fools are the only free men; but yet, I think, nobody would choose to be mad for the sake of such liberty, but he that is mad already. - John Locke

We are very, very small, but we are profoundly capable of very, very big things. - Stephen Hawking

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time... I think I've forgotten this before. - Steven Wright

It's difficult to attack vanilla. - Carlos Curbelo

I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost. - A. A. Milne, as spoken by Winnie the Pooh

I'm not going to spend my life being a color - Bill Botrell and Michael Jackson, "Black and white", Dangerous, 1991

My claim to fame? I was the youngest person in history once. - Ray Yamartino

The beautiful thing about learning is nobody can take it away from you. - Riley "B. B." King

They may take your chair, but they will never take your place. - Steve Scheider

No whammies! - every contestant on "Press Your Luck"

I never wanted to be famous. I only wanted to be great. - Ray Charles

When I teach others, I teach myself. - Itzhak Perlman

Who's more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him? - George Lucas, as spoken by Alec Guiness as Obi Wan Kenobi, Star Wars: A New Hope, 1977

All models are wrong, some are useful. - George E. P. Box

The old saying is that “figures will not lie,” but a new saying is “liars will figure.” It is our duty, as practical statisticians, to prevent the liar from figuring; in other words, to prevent him from perverting the truth, in the interest of some theory he wishes to establish. 

- Carrol D. Wright, 1889

The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present. - Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbs, 27 Dec. 1990.

Someday, we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny. - Bruce Springsteen, "Rosalita", The Wild, the Innocent, and the E Street Shuffle, 1973

Art, in itself, is an attempt to bring order out of chaos. - Stephen Sondheim

Ideas are one thing and what happens is another. - John Cage

You're in pretty good shape for the shape that you're in! - Dr. Seuss

It's never just about us. - Anonymous

Religion is a culture of faith; science is a culture of doubt. - Richard Feynman

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. - Margaret Mead

No one on his deathbed ever said, "I wish I had spent more time on my business." - Arnold Zack

Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard. - Tim Notke

Happy wife, happy life! - Sherman Edwards

Each man is three men: What he thinks he is, what others think he is and what he really is. - Christopher Leiningen, as acted by Charlton Heston, in The Naked Jungle, 1954.

Revenge is not Justice. - Steve Scheider

You're only as good as the company you keep. - Frank Sonnenberg

Terrorism from white supremacy is the most lethal threat to the homeland today -- not ISIS, not al-Qaida, white supremacists. - Joe Biden

All is well despite some crazy people in this world. - Dr. Anthony Fauci

The less that you involve doctors and lawyers, the better. - Steve Scheider

If you can't effect change, then it's time to move on. - Steve Scheider, on work

Everyone knows your job but you. - Steve Scheider

Every daily event has an appropriate and corresponding Simpson's quote that can shed light or wisdom on the matter at hand. - Will Samari, Ray Yamartino, and Rafaan Anvari, Dog House Diaries, comic 5550

That's 50-50-90-10: 50% of the time you choose the 90% that fails. - Steve Scheider

Help me, Mr. Wizard! - Tooter Turtle as voiced by Adam Swift.

Drizzle, drazzle, drozzle, drone - Time for this one to come home.. - Mr. Wizard, as voiced by Sandy Becker

Pride is the problem, humility is the answer. - Joyce Meyer

It always seems impossible until it's done. - Nelson Mandela

Not only is the Universe stranger than we think, it is stranger than we can think. - Werner Heisenberg

Every wake-up is a win. - Steve Scheider 

The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is a choice. - Brian Herbert

Everything we call real is made of things that cannot be regarded as real. - Niels Bohr

If I thought data would influence my decisions, I wouldn't let you gather it. - Scott Adams, as spoken by Pointy Haired Boss (PHB) in Dilbert, 10/10/2021.

That is because it is the shortest route to your brain! - Joel Grey as Chuin in Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins, 1985, after being told that he's a pain in the ass.

The carpenter's house always needs work. - Anonymous

To be a programmer is to develop a carefully managed relationship with error. - Ellen Ullman

And in the end / The love you take / Is equal to the love you make. - John Lennon and Paul McCartney, "The End", Abbey Road, The Beatles, 1969

Ὅσον ζῇς φαίνου / μηδὲν ὅλως σὺ λυποῦ / πρὸς ὀλίγον ἔστι τὸ ζῆν / τὸ τέλος ὁ χρόνος ἀπαιτεῖ. Translated -> While you live, shine / have no grief at all / life exists only for a short while / and Time demands his due. - Seikilos epitaph, 1st or 2nd Century CE.

When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman. - Jennie Jerome, Winston Churchill's mother

The threat is stronger than the execution. - Aron Nimzowitsch

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in. - Edsger W. Dijkstra

I don't know how many of you have ever met Dijkstra, but you probably know that arrogance in computer science is measured in nano-Dijkstras. - Alan Kay

If the purpose of your life is to prolong your life, then maybe there's not much life to prolong. - Stephan Pastis, spoken by the character Rat in Pearls Before Swine, 26 Nov 2021

He who works with his hands is a laborer; 

He who works with his hands and his brain is an Artisan; 

He who works with his hands, his brains and his heart is an Artist. - Anonymous, "Boys' Workers Round Table", Boys Club Federation Inc., Mid-Summer Vol. 3, Cornell University: State College of Agriculture, Ithaca, NY, 1923

The hurrieder I go the behinder I get. - Anonymous (Pennsylvania Dutch)

... a clock that stands still is sure to point right once in twelve hours ... - Joseph Addison, “The Spectator”, 1711

If God does play dice, as quantum theory would suggest, then religion must follow Bayes Rule. - Steve Scheider

There is no perfect way to do my job. - Sue Bell Cobb, Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court

Code never lies; comments sometimes do. — Ron Jeffries, software developer

No, Spock. He means that he feels safer about your guesses than most other people's facts. - Roddenberry, Nimoy, and Bennet, voiced by Dr. McCoy, as portrayed by DeForest Kelly, "Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home," Paramount Pictures, 1986

A library serves no purpose unless someone is using it. - Jean Lisette Aroeste, voiced by Mr. Atoz, as portrayed by Ian Wolfe, "All Our Yesterdays," Star Trek, 1969

Believe half of what you see and nothing of what you hear. - Edgar Allan Poe

Testing leads to failure, and failure leads to understanding. - Burt Rutan

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. - Robin Williams

I need ammunition, not a ride. - Volodymyr Zelenskyy

When you embrace impermanence, all that remains is optimism. - Steve Scheider

The most damaging phrase in the language is: "It's always been done this way." - Grace Hopper

Hope is the foundation of optimism. - Steve Scheider

That's all I can stands, I can stands no more. - Popeye, as voiced by William Costello

Reading maketh a full man; conference a ready man; and writing an exact man; and, therefore, if a man write little, he had need have a great memory; if he confer little, he had need have a present wit; and if he read little, he had need have much cunning, to seem to know that he doth not. - Francis Bacon

Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. - David Bowie

Drunk Monkeys

By day, I am a mild mannered programmer enjoying my work. Sometimes I get a chance to develop new stuff, but most days I delve into the arcane world of existing code. Existing code could have been written by me just yesterday, or it could be an artifact from an errant interpretation of a 1930s scholarly work. In any event, I take the same approach to untangling the myriad of obfuscations: I assume that it was written by drunk monkeys.

Background...
A while back (the 1913, I believe), there was a learned man (Borel) that conjectured that if a million monkeys typed ten hours a day, it was extremely unlikely that their output would exactly equal all the books of the richest libraries of the world; and yet, in comparison, it was even more unlikely that the laws of statistical mechanics would ever be violated, even briefly (See eoht). Now, these were sober monkeys targeting archival manuscripts. 

What if...
Imagine that some of those million monkeys had a celebration and amply imbibed in hard liquor during it. A moment before last call, they were whisked away into the room with the typewriters. From that time until dawn, they typed code and checked it into the repository. Miraculously, it passed QA testing the ensuing day and went to production where I work. Eventually, a corner case not covered by testing appears in production and is exposed as a bug. To eradicate the offender, I crack open the source code only to uncover the nonsensical debris previously saved by - yes, drunk monkeys.