Wednesday, October 27, 2021

A Matter of Inconvenience

 As I sat next to the Pharmacy counter in our local Publix, I decided to count the number of people that were not properly wearing a mask. This included masks worn around the chin, gators of any form, masks exposing the nose, and no mask at all. I excluded children in my count. During the wait of nearly an hour, I counted 37 unmasked patrons. They covered a wide range of ages, from teenagers to elderly and a broud swath of demographics.

I then realized the reason that they were maskless - it's inconvenient. Forget the rest of the hogwash of rights, religious exceptions, medical exceptions, and the like - these people are just too damn lazy to care about another human being other than themselves. Three of the unmasked that I counted were mothers with children in tow. I feel for those kids since they have at least one parent that doesn't care at all.

Monday, October 18, 2021

Cancer blog

 Howdy folks,

I have begun a separate blog for my cancer journey. Here is the URL: https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/everywakeupisawin . I did this to make it easier for people looking for cancer information to be able to find it on one blog site. 

We WILL beat this together! 

Steve

Wednesday, October 6, 2021

Me and music


 Yes, this is me with my brown 1975 ES-335 stunning the crowd on amature night in Albany, NY circa 1997. Oddly, of the 35 years that I played guitar, this is the only photo I have of myself playing guitar. I gifted this particular guitar to Jeremy Douglas as well as my black 1990 ES-335. My daughter has my wine 1985 ES-335TD. The only other electric that I owned was a 1992 cream Fender Telecaster, but it was stolen at baggage claim in Montgomery, AL after flying home from a party at Alf's in Phoenix, AZ. 

I loved the blues and I truely loved playing the guitar. It started when I was 11 and I received an acoustic guitar for my birthday. I learned some chords and how to play "Billy Boy" before diving into "Innagaddadavida" and "Sunshine of Your Love". I had a lot of frustration with that guitar, mostly because I didn't know anyone else that played. My brother, Carl, had a guitar and he could play "Classical Gas" on it. So, I got the sheet music and transcribed it to tabular and tried to get it down. At about 15, I picked up a classical guitar, which was just in time to learn Led Zepplin's "Stairway to Heaven". That I could do. At Carnegie-Mellon, we would meet up in Schenley Park and play - maybe 10 to 15 of us - guitars, bongos, flutes, saxes, you name it. It was music for music's sake. I played with a couple of friends at one frat - mainly the Doors Morrison Hotel. At the time, I was trying to teach myself through various books, like Fredrick Noad's "Solo Guitar Playing". After a year of playing with others, I picked up both volumes of Ted Greene's "Jazz Guitar: Single Note Soloing." I learned a lot from those books. I wish that I could remember everything that it laid out, but I tried to follow note mistakes with mode changes, which had mixed results. I also picked up Tommy Tedesco's "For Guitar Player's Only." Awesome book - more about the business side of music, and the stories in it are hilarious. One thing that I learned from it was "never turn down a chance to play." I learned a lot through that sentence. It also bit me when I didn't follow it. At 20, I dabbled in writing classical pieces, but I soon realized my limitations there. With those beginnings, I entered the Navy and occasionally picked up the guitar and played. It was more like meditation than practice - I had a standard routine - pentatonics, then minors, then augmented, then major, then this song, then that one... etc. But in those days, I preferred listening to music over playing it. 
During my Carnegie-Mellon days, I ran across the Gibson ES-335. The little (tiny) local guitar shop had a walnut one in the front window that I would salivate over, but I could not afford it no matter how long I starved. This desire was fed by the Jazz Crusaders' with Larry Carlton "Crusaders 1" and literally everything by BB King. In 1990, I ordered a black ES 335 directly from Gibson. When it arrived, I cried. I took a week off an played it until my callouses hurt. Then I picked up a little Mesa Boogie 0.22 and it was the perfect fit for me. When I landed in Phoenix, AZ I found out that my workmates had a band and they were open to anyone playing with them. The band was named "Attack of the 50 foot woman band" after the Daryl Hannah movie of the same name. There were times when we played that there were four of us and sometimes twenty. It was a blast for me. Those folks liked a lot of Neil Young and early 70s rock, which was right up my alley. We had two very solid lead guitarists and the vocalist played guitar, so I tried to be a bridge between the bass and the keyboards (when we had some) and I became the rhythm guitarist. I also had a Tascam 6 by 2 mixing board so I picked up a small Peavy PA system and we were off to the races. While in Phoenix, I also picked up an Ovation 1312 Ultra and I had a piezo pickup installed in it. It was sweet sounding, but it wasn't very friendly for me to play; my belly and it's curved back made for an unstable combo. I also picked up a wine colored ES 335TD, which was very different. It wanted to scream. During the days in Phoenix, I became a member of the Phoenix Blues Society, which was awesome. I met so many legends at the events and the monthly club meetings. It was also nice to meet the various bar owners and learn the locaitons of the blues bars around town. On many Fridays, the gang from work would have some wings at a bar and maybe venture out afterward. On a couple of occasions, we went to the Biltmore in Scottsdale and sat in a section behind the stage. We could see the stage, since we were off to the side, but we were in our own world, just enjoying the music. usually jazz. I ended up in a small town near Montgomery, AL and that's where I picked up my charlie brown ES 335. When I got it, the action was set ridiculously high and the whole neck was warped. After a good bit of scouring, I found a Gibson certified luthier in Alpharetta, GA. These were old stomping grounds for me, so I packed up and drove over there one weekend to drop off the guitar for some neck work. I had brought the action back down, but there was a good deal of fret buzz. The luthier looked it over and asked how far he could go, since it had a pre 1975 serial number. I asked him to keep the neck, but refretting was fine. After about a month, he called me up and said that it was ready. Boy, was it ever! He took the warp out of the neck and he refitted the bridge along with all new fret wires. It played like a dream. I picked up a couple cases from him for the brown and wine ES 335s and headed back to Alabama (with a Gibson on my knee). Around this time, I met Jeremy Douglas who was a sweet guitar player. So, as a late wedding present, I gave him my black ES 335. Fifteen years later, he received my brown one, too. In Alabama, I didn't play much (all work and no play) so the guitars were idle. My daughter asked for the wine ES 335 TD, which I happily gave her. To this day, I don't think that she has plugged it into an amp. I gave the Ovation away to a friend's son who is trying to make it as a pro guitarist. It'll be one more sound for him. 

So, I'm guitarless with arthritis, MS, and cancer. Maybe I can learn how to play the harmonica... 

Sunday, October 3, 2021

20211004 Sars-CoV-19 700,000

 



One white flag for each death in the US from COVID-19. I have lost three friends to this pandemic. 

Entire article from The Smithsonian is here. 😢


I've seen fire and I've seen rain

I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend

But I always thought that I'd see you again

- James Taylor, "Fire and Rain", Sweet Baby James, 1970

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

The haves and havenots

 


Before drawing too many conclusions regarding this chart, note that the coloration is biased. Instead of going from 0 to 100 percent, this goes from 2.4 to 32.2 percent. With that caveat, it's interesting to see that there are definitive edges along state borders, which implies that the generation of an uninsured constituency is a matter of state policy. 


Sunday, September 19, 2021

Music heals

 Welcome address to freshman parents at Boston Conservatory, given by Karl Paulnack, pianist and director of music division at Ithaca College.

“One of my parents' deepest fears, I suspect, is that society would not properly value me as a musician, that I wouldn't be appreciated. I had very good grades in high school, I was good in science and math, and they imagined that as a doctor or a research chemist or an engineer, I might be more appreciated than I would be as a musician. I still remember my mother's remark when I announced my decision to apply to music school-she said, "you're WASTING your SAT scores." On some level, I think, my parents were not sure themselves what the value of music was, what its purpose was. And they LOVED music, they listened to classical music all the time. They just weren't really clear about its function. So let me talk about that a little bit, because we live in a society that puts music in the "arts and entertainment" section of the newspaper, and serious music, the kind your kids are about to engage in, has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with entertainment, in fact it's the opposite of entertainment. Let me talk a little bit about music, and how it works.

The first people to understand how music really works were the ancient Greeks. And this is going to fascinate you; the Greeks said that music and astronomy were two sides of the same coin. Astronomy was seen as the study of relationships between observable, permanent, external objects, and music was seen as the study of relationships between invisible, internal, hidden objects. Music has a way of finding the big, invisible moving pieces inside our hearts and souls and helping us figure out the position of things inside us. Let me give you some examples of how this works.

One of the most profound musical compositions of all time is the Quartet for the End of Time written by French composer Olivier Messiaen in 1940. Messiaen was 31 years old when France entered the war against Nazi Germany. He was captured by the Germans in June of 1940, sent across Germany in a cattle car and imprisoned in a concentration camp. He was fortunate to find a sympathetic prison guard who gave him paper and a place to compose. There were three other musicians in the camp, a cellist, a violinist, and a clarinetist, and Messiaen wrote his quartet with these specific players in mind. It was performed in January 1941 for four thousand prisoners and guards in the prison camp. Today it is one of the most famous masterworks in the repertoire.

Given what we have since learned about life in the concentration camps, why would anyone in his right mind waste time and energy writing or playing music? There was barely enough energy on a good day to find food and water, to avoid a beating, to stay warm, to escape torture - why would anyone bother with music? And yet - from the camps, we have poetry, we have music, we have visual art; it wasn't just this one fanatic Messiaen; many, many people created art. 

Why? Well, in a place where people are only focused on survival, on the bare necessities, the obvious conclusion is that art must be, somehow, essential for life. The camps were without money, without hope, without commerce, without recreation, without basic respect, but they were not without art. Art is part of survival; art is part of the human spirit, an unquenchable expression of who we are. Art is one of the ways in which we say, "I am alive, and my life has meaning."

On September 12, 2001 I was a resident of Manhattan. That morning I reached a new understanding of my art and its relationship to the world. I sat down at the piano that morning at 10 AM to practice as was my daily routine; I did it by force of habit, without thinking about it. I lifted the cover on the keyboard, and opened my music, and put my hands on the keys and took my hands off the keys. And I sat there and thought, does this even matter? Isn't this completely irrelevant?

Playing the piano right now, given what happened in this city yesterday, seems silly, absurd, irreverent, pointless. Why am I here? What place has a musician in this moment in time? Who needs a piano player right now? I was completely lost.

And then I, along with the rest of New York, went through the journey of getting through that week. I did not play the piano that day, and in fact I contemplated briefly whether I would ever want to play the piano again. And then I observed how we got through the day.

At least in my neighborhood, we didn't shoot hoops or play Scrabble. We didn't play cards to pass the time, we didn't watch TV, we didn't shop, we most certainly did not go to the mall. The first organized activity that I saw in New York, that same day, was singing. People sang. People sang around fire houses, people sang "We Shall Overcome". Lots of people sang America the Beautiful. The first organized public event that I remember was the Brahms Requiem, later that week, at Lincoln Center, with the New York Philharmonic. 

The first organized public expression of grief, our first communal response to that historic event, was a concert. That was the beginning of a sense that life might go on. The US Military secured the airspace, but recovery was led by the arts, and by music in particular, that very night.

From these two experiences, I have come to understand that music is not part of "arts and entertainment" as the newspaper section would have us believe. It's not a luxury, a lavish thing that we fund from leftovers of our budgets, not a plaything or an amusement or a pass time. Music is a basic need of human survival. Music is one of the ways we make sense of our lives, one of the ways in which we express feelings when we have no words, a way for us to understand things with our hearts when we can't with our minds.

Some of you may know Samuel Barber's heart wrenchingly beautiful piece Adagio for Strings. If you don't know it by that name, then some of you may know it as the background music which accompanied the Oliver Stone movie Platoon, a film about the Vietnam War. If you know that piece of music either way, you know it has the ability to crack your heart open like a walnut; it can make you cry over sadness you didn't know you had. Music can slip beneath our conscious reality to get at what's really going on inside us the way a good therapist does.

I bet that you have never been to a wedding where there was absolutely no music. There might have been only a little music, there might have been some really bad music, but I bet you there was some music. And something very predictable happens at weddings - people get all pent up with all kinds of emotions, and then there's some musical moment where the action of the wedding stops and someone sings or plays the flute or something. And even if the music is lame, even if the quality isn't good, predictably 30 or 40 percent of the people who are going to cry at a wedding, cry a couple of moments after the music starts. Why? The Greeks. 

Music allows us to move around those big invisible pieces of ourselves and rearrange our insides so that we can express what we feel even when we can't talk about it. Can you imagine watching Indiana Jones or Superman or Star Wars with the dialogue but no music? What is it about the music swelling up at just the right moment in ET so that all the softies in the audience start crying at exactly the same moment? I guarantee you if you showed the movie with the music stripped out, it wouldn't happen that way.

The Greeks: Music is the understanding of the relationship between invisible internal objects.

I'll give you one more example, the story of the most important concert of my life. I must tell you I have played a little less than a thousand concerts in my life so far. I have played in places that I thought were important. I like playing in Carnegie Hall; I enjoyed playing in Paris; it made me very happy to please the critics in St. Petersburg. I have played for people I thought were important; music critics of major newspapers, foreign heads of state. The most important concert of my entire life took place in a nursing home in Fargo, ND, about 4 years ago.

I was playing with a very dear friend of mine who is a violinist. We began, as we often do, with Aaron Copland's Sonata, which was written during World War II and dedicated to a young friend of Copland's, a young pilot who was shot down during the war. Now we often talk to our audiences about the pieces we are going to play rather than providing them with written program notes. But in this case, because we began the concert with this piece, we decided to talk about the piece later in the program and to just come out and play the music without explanation.

Midway through the piece, an elderly man seated in a wheelchair near the front of the concert hall began to weep. This man, whom I later met, was clearly a soldier-even in his 70's, it was clear from his buzz-cut hair, square jaw and general demeanor that he had spent a good deal of his life in the military. I thought it a little bit odd that someone would be moved to tears by that particular movement of that particular piece, but it wasn't the first time I've heard crying in a concert and we went on with the concert and finished the piece.

When we came out to play the next piece on the program, we decided to talk about both the first and second pieces, and we described the circumstances in which the Copland was written and mentioned its dedication to a downed pilot. The man in the front of the audience became so disturbed that he had to leave the auditorium. I honestly figured that we would not see him again, but he did come backstage afterwards, tears and all, to explain himself.

What he told us was this: "During World War II, I was a pilot, and I was in an aerial combat situation where one of my team's planes was hit. I watched my friend bail out, and watched his parachute open, but the Japanese planes which had engaged us returned and machine gunned across the parachute chords so as to separate the parachute from the pilot, and I watched my friend drop away into the ocean, realizing that he was lost. I have not thought about this for many years, but during that first piece of music you played, this memory returned to me so vividly that it was as though I was reliving it. I didn't understand why this was happening, why now, but then when you came out to explain that this piece of music was written to commemorate a lost pilot, it was a little more than I could handle. How does the music do that? How did it find those feelings and those memories in me?"

Remember the Greeks: music is the study of invisible relationships between internal objects. This concert in Fargo was the most important work I have ever done. For me to play for this old soldier and help him connect, somehow, with Aaron Copland, and to connect their memories of their lost friends, to help him remember and mourn his friend, this is my work. This is why music matters.

What follows is part of the talk I will give to this year's freshman class when I welcome them a few days from now. The responsibility I will charge your sons and daughters with is this:

"If we were a medical school, and you were here as a med student practicing appendectomies, you'd take your work very seriously because you would imagine that some night at two AM someone is going to waltz into your emergency room and you're going to have to save their life. 

Well, my friends, someday at 8 PM someone is going to walk into your concert hall and bring you a mind that is confused, a heart that is overwhelmed, a soul that is weary. Whether they go out whole again will depend partly on how well you do your craft.

You're not here to become an entertainer, and you don't have to sell yourself. The truth is you don't have anything to sell; being a musician isn't about dispensing a product, like selling used Chevies. I'm not an entertainer; I'm a lot closer to a paramedic, a firefighter, a rescue worker. You're here to become a sort of therapist for the human soul, a spiritual version of a chiropractor, physical therapist, someone who works with our insides to see if they get things to line up, to see if we can come into harmony with ourselves and be healthy and happy and well.

Frankly, ladies and gentlemen, I expect you not only to master music; I expect you to save the planet. If there is a future wave of wellness on this planet, of harmony, of peace, of an end to war, of mutual understanding, of equality, of fairness, I don't expect it will come from a government, a military force or a corporation. I no longer even expect it to come from the religions of the world, which together seem to have brought us as much war as they have peace. If there is a future of peace for humankind, if there is to be an understanding of how these invisible, internal things should fit together, I expect it will come from the artists, because that's what we do. As in the concentration camp and the evening of 9/11, the artists are the ones who might be able to help us with our internal, invisible lives."

Wednesday, July 21, 2021

20210721 Covid Snapshot

 

COVID cases are trending up again. This time, it is in the summer, but with few masks and fewer restrictions. The saving grace is that the "vaccines" are preventing deaths, and the vaccinated that are symptomatic are much less likely to be hospitalized or die. I'm vaccinated and I'd like to portray some sense of optimism, but I'm at a loss right now. I pray that this surge does not affect my family nor my friends. 

For the unvaccinated and those dispensing lies: Ex 20:13